“Sir, my dog is not a toaster!” And Other Things I Never Thought I’d Say


I messaged the breeder on our way home from the vet’s office that day.  I only wanted her to know for future litters, we didn’t want anything else.  As far as we were concerned nature was unpredictable.  It was nobody’s fault that Target was deaf it was just life.  She gave us the option to return him for a full refund, we refused.

Sides formed very quickly.  Friends and family that were close with us took it in stride like we did, Target already knew some signs and my family weren’t strangers to deaf dogs.  There were some people who couldn’t help but voice their opinions negatively.  I understood their stance from a logic perspective, we had bought Target from a breeder to avoid this kind of “complication”, but from our perspective, he was just our dog.

The friends who had concerns about how we would handle this were one thing, but it took me a long time to get a thick skin to the random strangers who would comment about what we were doing right or wrong for Target.

There were women in the pet store who would tickle his feet while he was lying down and coo to him in baby voice “did mommy walk you too far?  Do you have tired toes?” I would have hated to break it to them that five minutes after we would get back from our walks to the closest pet store his “tired toes” would already be doing zoomies around my coffee table.  Didn’t these ladies know that looking tired is just a border collie puppy’s way of playing possum until you were looking the other way and he could successfully steal your socks?

When I took Target to the park one day there was a man, not much older than me who tried to get Target’s attention while he was chasing his ball by whistling to him.  I let him know politely that Target was deaf, waved my hand and the man started petting Target when he ran back to us.  The man asked me about Target and since I was still getting used to the dog park mentality of talking to strangers, I answered him.  The conversation quickly took a turn when he became confused about the fact that I had purchased Target from a breeder and he was also deaf.

“But, you said you bought him from a breeder?”

“Yes, I did”

“But… he’s deaf?”

“Yes, he is”

“But… but… you bought him from a breeder”

“Yes, both of those statements are true”.

“So, you bought a defective puppy from a breeder?”

The word, stung and all I could do was stare at him blankly.  How is a dog defective?  Seeing my shock and being visibly uncomfortable with my stare he kept talking,

“I mean, I guess getting a rescue is kind of like buying something from a garage sale, you can’t really guarantee its quality, but you get it cheaper so it doesn’t matter, right?” 

I wasn’t going to agree with him and kept staring.

“But, going to a breeder is like going to a department store.  If you get an appliance from a department store and it’s defective,”

 There was that word again, 

“You return it and get a working one.  You don’t just keep the defective” 

Cringe...

“One, you trade it in for one that isn’t broken” 

At least he didn’t say defective.

 It doesn’t happen often, but I was shocked speechless.  After the fact, there were lots of things that have come to my mind that I would love to say to that man.  From a stoic, Braveheart style speech about the value of deaf dogs, to a childish “You’re defective!” I have all the clap backs now, but had nothing at that moment.  I was huffing my breath like a toddler ready to throw a tantrum and the man was watching me with side-eye contemplating whether or not I might be dangerous.

With a swift jerk on his leash I whipped Target away from the man by his harness and scooped him up.

“Sir,” I sputtered, “my dog is not a toaster!”   

I stormed off with Target in my arms, peeking over my shoulder and wagging his tail at his new friend, who was still standing perplexed in the field.

I have also been told that we should have put Target to sleep because he will never fulfill his true life’s purpose: to herd sheep.  Not only did this make me have to bite my tongue and not immaturely shout at the man “You should be put to sleep!”  This is comical to anybody who has seen Target around livestock as his first and most basic instinct is to run away!  Far away!   

This instinct isn’t reserved for large livestock either, his first terrifying encounter was with a black chicken with “Farrah Fawcett” hair.  I can’t imagine what that chicken was clucking to him, whether it be death threats or throwing down some hen gang symbols, but I’m sure, in that moment, as much as we knew we were never going to be farmers, Target was definitely never going to be a farmer's dog.

We received far more loving moments with Target as a puppy than we did moments like these.  His happy-go-lucky personality made it hard to keep him down for long.  It took a long time for me to put aside other people’s opinions of my dog, or what I was doing for him.  Some days, people will still find my weak spot and I have to work at making sure their words don’t come before what I know to be the truth about my dog.   

However, even before I was ok with it, Target was.  He doesn’t know he’s any different than any other dogs, and taking his cues to just “wag on” I eventually became as deaf to stranger’s comments as he is.


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